Invisible

Good night
Where you're lying awake
In your house
I know where it is
Good night
And sweet dreams
I'm invisible
For the night
Forget me a little bit
Forgive me another bit
I wish we could sleep together
One more time
Meanwhile, good night
ruby

Your Fool

There was a glimpse of light
or so it seemed in my eyes
It turned out it was only me
Imagining

Dressed up in a closed down room
Forevermore I'll be your fool
So crown me your clown

There was something resembling a star
Something resembling a color
It turned out it was only me
Only me and make-believe

Dressed up in a closed down room
Forevermore I'll be your fool
So crown me your clown

There was something close to being you
And something that sounded like your voice
It turned out it was only me
Projecting on the world who I wanted you to be

Dressed up in a closed down room
Forevermore I'll be your fool
So crown me your clown

I'll be your fool
Though you tossed me away
With your innocence

Real Demon

I once was under your skin.
Knew every breath that you ever drew in.
Your secrets were safe here,
I was next of kin.

So why am I a ghost now?

Your feelings made your world.
Your universe built around how you were hurt.
Your every word was safe here,
You were what I deserved.

So why are you a ghost now?

Just a ghost
who never saw
the real demon

Marescape

Just another late night madness
Don't let my words sink in
I'm messed up and I'm drowning
to the sound of my sanity,
gone with the tide
It's just another late night madness
from a poet, late night thinking
I'm messed up and my words
come out far from romantic
Soon when I twitch to sleep
the marescape will take me over
and just another late night madness
has joined me while I'm sober

Beautiful Origamy

Give me a blank page
I can soak it with my tears
Don't give it away if you care for it
Or your beautiful origamy will be ruined
by my salt
Give me blank eyes and a stare
Imagining that you never strayed there
I can drown you in my tears
Don't step close if you care
Or your beautiful feelings will crumble
into ashes
See I'm no more than a curse and a pain
Besides all the ordinary, and all the plain
Give me a blank page, and eventually it will burn
You can try and reboot my stranger name
but a curse will never learn

Songs Of You

About a million times I wanted to write you
Just shout out and have a go at screaming
Wondering if you understand what you did,
gave me a promised land we'd venture to,
and then destroyed all my dreaming
And a million and one times there were salt over you
Falling from my eyes though I tried not to
Remember that vow you made, that you'd never leave me
to find my way back home alone?
Well it was just what you did, and I think you prepared me
You gave me all those songs that I could listen to while grieving
They all were about you
And how I died, without you
Sometimes a sparkle can fade and I could understand if that was it
But you didn't have to pretend there never was a star
That there never were two shards of heart
You made a lie out of what was unusually true
You vented your vengeance on me, and I let you
I thought you knew me
You spoke of tomorrows
Revealed all your yesterdays
And there were no secrets
And then the last time, still so vivid
You sent me another song
Something you sang of a dying star
I still recall those lines
And then in your dark hours
when you most would have needed me
You became a secret
and you hid from yourself
and you hid from me
Forever now you're untold
A story that should have been
that you made sure will never be

Hurricane

I miss you, strangely.
Not so much what was deep.
Not so much what was meaningful.
Mostly that you were here.
A whisper just stroked my cheek
like a wind
and I know you're asleep
You're not here but I let you in
That once
This present
So maybe for a few more seconds
before dreaming steals me away
I can imagine that we are winds together
Tumbling currents, a breeze,
and a storming hurricane.

Ticking By

Just discovered the beauty of doing word wars to pull off the daily amount of prose. Did a few five-minute ones, one 10-minute and one 8-minute race yesterday, and they all pretty much boosted my word count... no, even more so, they made all of it. In like a total of half an hour I got more written than any of the previous days. I will for sure use this technique again, much thanks to the chatbox on Nanowrimo.org.

Other than that, don't know what's up really. I'll be heading down to the cafeteria here at work in approximately 6 minutes in order to "guard" it, it's my turn to do it. That means like 30 minutes of walking round the café staring at everyone's delicious food without getting to touch it yourself. Hmm, I'm drooling already.

Somehow glad that every day that ticks by is one day less I have to spend here, one day closer to quitting. I'm really not sure I wanna stick around when spring comes... we'll see what happens. Right now I'm just such a wreck, can't deal with anything, even the easy parts of the job seems twice as difficult as they usually do. I just feel so weirded out and down. Happy that Jessie slept over last night though. And that the surprise party went well, that's good also.

Can't believe I'm even here, got a headache and a fever, but I'll be headed home early to catch some sleep.

Early bird catches the worm,
THE POET in the JAR

Muddy H2O

I'm just the water
in the watering can
Giving nutrition
to you
if I can
But your thirst is fading
Day by day
Empty this jug, in disarray
I'm just the writer
pouring myself out
over you

I'm running out of words
Fill me back up
With muddy H2O

That's the least you can do